Guido Genatto vs Ethan Axel Andrews
The Baddest Motherfucker You Ever Met!
By the time pretty boy Ethan realized that he might possibly have bitten off more than he can chew, it was too late. With the main door to the BG East Arena North filled with the hulking form of “Double G” Guido Genatto, self-described “bad boy” Ethan tries to escape through the back sliders off the BG East Arena balcony. Guido grabs him by his pretty and appropriately yellow trunks and pulls him back inside. Nobody saw it happen, and no cameras were rolling to capture the moment, but we know that Ethan made a frail yelping noise when big hairy Guido clamped him in a side headlock and dragged him to the ring. “Try to weasel away from me, huh?” Guido snarls. “You can’t fuckin’ run now.”
Running into Guido Genatto is like running into an irate bull. He is infamous for tearing into his opponents without warning, mercy, or remorse. He genuinely relishes punishing wrestlers, big or small, makes no difference. He’s an equal opportunity basher, and one of the most feared heels on the BGE roster. He chokes Ethan against the turnbuckle. Then he snap-mares him to the center of the ring, fastens him in a head scissors hold, and smashes the lovable-boy-next-door face to the canvas. He does a quick set of pushups while squeezing the kid’s pencil-neck between his colossal thighs. “Head right up my ass,” Guido gloats. “Where you fuckin’ BELONG! RIGHT where you fuckin’ belong!”
If it seems big Guido has some sort of personal grudge, you’d be right. He’s made a pledge to wipe the mats with what he calls “pseudo pros” – guys who’ve become big stars in what used to be called underground wrestling without ever having put in the blood, sweat and tears that indy pros routinely do to have the honor and luxury of getting paid ten bucks for driving 300 miles to do a show in East Bumfuck, Maine. Fuck yeah, Guido’s got a chip on his massive shoulders. Guys like Ethan Axel – and a whole host of other pretty boys prance onto the scene, become overnight sensations, get paid the top money at BG East and get all the perqs and trimmings that come along with their stardom while journeymen like Guido take the lumps, slings and arrows of outrageous fortune – and end up being called a jabroni for his efforts. Pissed? That’s a gem of nuanced understatement.
But even big Guido has to be impressed (though annoyed) by Ethan Andrews’ attitude, as well as his capacity for absorbing pain and punishment. The big heel has this mini heel sandwiched between his legs and on his back. Ethan can’t budge an inch, the pain is making the veins pop on his forehead, yet he musters the bravado to flip Guido off with both hands. Failing to get the easy tap-out he was hoping for, Guido hauls Ethan to the edge of the ring for another prolonged choke session against the top rope.
Guido’s gonna drain the fight – and the life from the pretty boy. Ethan breathes in rasps, his body turning cold after Guido’s mauling of his circulatory system. Guido yanks him back to the center of the ring by his hair and clenches him in another head scissors. Ethan manages a miraculous hope spot, a near pin, but, no believer in miracles, Guido shuts it down in seconds. In repayment, Genatto stuns the “twinky boy” with a couple of stiff chops. Then he sits on his neck, sweaty crotch rubbing up against Ethan’s grimacing face.
After working too long and too hard for the first fall by submission, Guido seizes the babyface between his viselike ankles, forcing the “jabroni” to look into the eyes of his “daddy” as the boy palely gasps for air. Then he punches Ethan in the face merely for trying to pull free. Even while pretzeled in a paralyzing STF (which Guido claims stands for “shut the fuck up”), Ethan doesn’t lose heart, which only further enrages the hairy-beast heel, who commands him, “Wiggle, fuckin’ insect! … You think you’re a bad guy?” Ethan defiantly answers, “Yes!” Don’t go betting the family farm for sweet little Ethan Axel Andrews to turn this match around, but you can’t say the kid doesn’t have balls. Guido is something else entirely: a force of nature, a walking-talking cataclysm, indeed (as he puts it) the “baddest motherfucker you ever met!” And believe us, he ain’t talking smack!